To Liberty, As You Turn 13

Dear Liberty,

Happy Birthday! Wow, 13! What a year you’ve had, and what a year of change to come!

You are officially a teenager! These years are hard, but they are beautiful. The next few years will bring high school, driving, a job, friends, maybe love, maybe heartbreak, it is all a rite of passage. You won’t understand why people are mean, some days will be hard, but you will grow into who you are supposed to be. I won’t be beside you as much over the coming years, but I will always be behind you.

Don’t ever stop being you:

Look at what you did this year! You got all A’s, passed advance on your SoLs, and earned your first high school credit. You went from not being in person since you were six years old, to taking art and choir at school. You were in the Guys and Dolls musical, and even had a line! You auditioned for the advanced choir, and made it! You were recommended for advanced art and will take that next year along with science. You had to apply and were granted admission to the National Junior Honor Society. You kept up your school schedule while doing Christmas Carol at Players. You chose to do hard things and you did them! It wasn’t easy, some days were pretty hard, but you kept going. You still have that grit you had from when you were little and so determined to ride your bike. That grit will serve you well in life. Things will be hard for you sometimes, but you will get through it because you are you.

Find Your Tribe:

Choose friends that want you at your best, not those that just watch you be hurt. Some will try to worm their way in, those that judge and gossip. Real friends respect you and want what is best for you. They want you to grow and thrive, not do something that is against your values. There will be people that will try to change you, you know who you are, show them why you don’t need to.

Character beats Medals:

I think sometimes it must be hard to see the theatre and gymnastics medals hanging in Canton and Adleigh’s rooms sometimes, but you have always been so proud of their accomplishments. Comparison is a thief, there will always be someone faster, richer, or more talented at something. Don’t chase that. The world doesn’t need that. The world needs YOU! You help sell flowers and attend all of Canton’s shows and you cheer on Adleigh at gymnastic meets even though you passionately hate attending them. You have your own successes: perfect SoL scores, academic achievements, and behavior commendations. You are an exemplary student and citizen, and importantly a kind and trustworthy friend, and my entire world. People might vaguely remember Canton singing a song, they aren’t going to remember what place Adleigh got on bars, but they will certainly always remember how you made them feel, and that my dear, matters the most in the end.

Take Chances:

Over the next few years you will meet some of the people who will shape the person you will become. Say hi to the girl sitting alone, walk up to a group of kids doing something interesting, try out for that role that seems impossible, join that club and work with others toward a common goal. It is scary, but some great friendships have been made because someone decided to reach out to someone else. Let the world see you.

Have Grace:

Have a forgiving heart. People will mess up. The world needs more empathy. Being nice is different than having grace, it is love in action. Grace heals our yesterdays, and provides hope for tomorrow. People will let you down, at least hear them out and listen with understanding. We don’t know what troubles other people may be carrying. Start with kindness, if someone shows you they don’t deserve it, then you can move on without guilt or burden, knowing you did the right thing. Please know there is nothing that you could ever do that will ever change just how much I love you. 

Keep Going:

You have incredible grit, as shown by how much you carry each day. Just keep going, don’t ever give up. The world will knock you down. Acknowledge it, release it, and move on. We are here to carry your load.

Find JOY:

Laugh often, even if it means listening to “dad” jokes. There is so much to be down about in the world. You are a lover of nature, find joy in the squirrels at the door or the gentle breeze at just the right time. Don’t forget to blow those dandelions and jump into puddles. Teenagers tend to grow up, try not to lose that little kid side of you that marvels at birds and the beauty of the world. You carry a lot of worry, please don’t forget to look out for the little miracles around you every day. The little things mean the most in the end.

Love yourself:

Teenage girls are mean to others sometimes, but they are also mean to themselves. It is ok to grow and change, but you should always find things you love about yourself and nourish those things. You aren’t a jean size, or a label on a shirt. You are LIBERTY! Our smart, brave, empathetic, creative, determined girl. Believe you are enough.

Lean on Us:

Please know that you are so very loved! I think it is natural for moms and teen daughters to have friction, we haven’t gotten there yet, but don’t be afraid of it. Conflict is natural, you have the skills to work through it. I am so grateful I have your trust and I will do everything I can do to keep it. I hope that you will continue to come to me with everything, and that there is nothing that you could tell me that will ever change just how much we all love you. There will be days when you doubt yourself, days when life feels overwhelming, and days when you just want to hide from the world. On those days, I hope you remember just how much we love you. Before you accomplished anything, before you earned any award or reached any milestone, you were loved completely. Nothing will ever change that. Our love is unconditional and unbreakable.

You were everything when you were born, and you are everything now. I am so proud of you and cannot wait to see what the future holds! Thank you for making me a better person simply by being you. Thank you for every laugh, every too tight hug, every conversation, every memory, every Owen drawing hanging in our house, and every challenge that has helped us grow together.

I love YOU, Liberty May!
Me and Lou and Lou and Me!


Love, 

Mom