Dear Liberty,

You are 8! Birthday number 7 was just the five of us due to covid but I am so glad you get to celebrate turning eight with your number one lady, Rhonda!

What a year it has been for you! I think the first thing to address is just how very much you excelled in school this year! You went from missing over 20 days each in kindergarten and first grade to NOT MISSING A SINGLE DAY this year! You thrived in the virtual environment. You could get stuff done at your own pace and you fell in love with art. You created so many masterpieces this year we are going to need more wall space for all of them. You have turned into such a reader! Now you read to relax or to help you fall asleep (although it usually does the opposite 🙂 You read tons of chapter books, particularly enjoying Mrs. Judy Blume and the world of FUDGE, one of my favorites too! I am so lucky that I got to watch you grow and thrive this year. I loved hearing you yell “I’m on” when you entered your meetings. You learned so much this year about taking responsibility for your own learning, you created your agenda each day and whipped through all the assignments. You were also the only person to finish the DreamBox map, and get the lousy 20 coins. 🙂 You enjoyed meeting virtually with your teacher and classmates. Your favorite was art of course! You even did most of the PE lessons! We are all so proud of you! I am sure next year you will continue to grow and thrive in continuing in the virtual environment.

You also got glasses this year! You have always been able to see the world clearly, knowing exactly what you want. Always continue to stand up for yourself and take a stand when something doesn’t feel right. Keep that gumption! Never be afraid to be the strong girl you are! May you see a world beyond your own full of beauty and waiting for you. Always look for ways to grow and remain curious and gracious. Keep your eyes open to a world of what is possible and a future full of promise.

One of my favorite things about this crazy covid year is watching you with your siblings. Canton would help you with math or you would build legos together or play Star Trek ships. I will miss hearing you and Adleigh wish at 11:11 for the coronavirus to be over and our dancing at 12:34 to celebrate each day. I am so lucky I get to watch you dance every day. I hope you continue to find small but joyous moments each day to celebrate. May you continue to love and support each other, to always be “sisters and best friends”.

You are such a beautiful soul. I love to watch you care for every ladybug, firefly, bird, squirrel, anything that crosses your path you find a way to make it feel cared for. I love that you are a feeling person! Nature, beauty, art, it all stirs your soul, you feel all the feels. I hope you continue to keep your energy, imagination, and kindness for every creature, even the human ones who don’t always deserve it. May you always keep your feeling heart.

You are halfway to 16! I hope you continue to know exactly what you want and who you are as you enter the tween/teen world. It can be unforgiving. But you have such a strong sense of who you are, no one knows how to be Liberty more than you, continue to listen to yourself, embrace your confidence, and honor others with grace and gratitude.

I am thankful as you turn 8 that your hand still fits perfectly into mine and that you still want to hold it, that you curl up on my lap and tell me exactly what you are feeling, that I get to tickle you senseless each night, and that you still hug me out of the blue and say “I love you mommy”. I know those days are waning. As your hands begins to slip through mine know that I will always have your back, and no matter how big those hands grow, you’ll always hold my heart.

No matter how you toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is LOU
and LOU for me
So happy together!

I love you Liberty!

Love,

Mom

Dear Canton,

Happy Birthday Sunshine! 12 years ago you burst into our lives and now you begin the trek toward adulthood, it has been a joy each and every day.

As I write you a letter each year it is important to reflect on the milestones and growth you experience. This year has been like no other.  A few months ago you could easily rest your head on my shoulder and now I have to lift my chin for you to fit under it. You are only going to get bigger, but I hope I can always hold you close. You didn’t get a big birthday celebration for 11 and you won’t have one for 12. While a lot of the world has had to deal with anxiety, hardship, and tragedy we have been so lucky here within these walls. We have been together all day every day for over a year, while some of those days tend to blur together, many stand out, holidays, report card days, and when you create something magical like your self portrait or compose a song in band.  May you continue to grow, be flexible, find joy, be proud, and be present in each moment.

You have been a truly incredible brother. There are not many tween boys that would make sure to include their 5 and 7 year old sisters in daily life. You have looked out for them, made them laugh, helped them create, and just loved them, in a pandemic that is no small feat. You have taught them Minecraft, launched them on the trampoline, and perfected reading the Pigeon books. May you continue to be a role model and cherish your sisters.

You have learned to begin to understand the privilege you have, continue to use that for good. The world has changed a lot in these last few years and you have begun to understand how much you have and the obligation to make the world better. It is not always easy to do the right thing, but it is always the right thing. May you always have empathy and be a light in the world.

You have made straight A’s all year! Even though you have pretty much always done that to do that, doing it while completely changing school is a big freaking deal. You transitioned from a warm loving fifth grade teacher to learning from a screen in your room. In the third quarter you had all 100%! You have grown tremendously in writing and will be taking Algebra I as a seventh grader! I know you desperately miss theatre and live band but we have enjoyed watching you sing and dance each day. You have certainly thrived “Under Pressure”. I am in awe of how you handled the challenges of this past year. May you continue to have grace and a song in your heart.

One of my favorite parts of this year has been eating lunch together with the girls each day, something that would not have been possible any other time once you entered school.  Your schedule has changed a few times this year but lunch together always made each of us gather and reflect, and whenever you got out early and could join us for 1-2-3-4 it was a great day! I also love that we play Monopoly Deal together most days of the week, this time together is precious and I will never forget it. May you always put yourself and family first and treasure time together.

My firstborn, my only son, there is so much better inside me because of you. Your hugs heal me each day and your smile and laugh is the sunshine needed in the dreary moments. You are a gift. I am so thankful for you. As you continue your path leading more into the world please know I am always right behind you. I will always be here when you turn your light around back on us or fall or get lost along the way. I cannot wait to see what you do next!

Cheers to 12 years!

LOVE YOU SUNSHINE!!!!

A well loved tradition around here 🙂

Particularly the icing for Lou!

Dear Adleigh,

Can you believe you are FIVE? So many of the days spent before turning four you kept saying “I’ll miss being three!” Now you are saying “Mama, I’ll miss being four!” You had a great time being four! I know five is going to be different but you’ll continue to laugh, grow, and make memories that you will have for the rest of your life.

It’s so unfortunate that some of your first memories are going to be of COVID. It breaks my heart that your first year of preschool was cut short, that you constantly ask “is that clean?” before you touch anything, and that you haven’t been able to give your precious “Adleigh hugs” to friends and family in so many months. We are incredibly lucky that COVID hasn’t personally harmed our family, so many people have lost their jobs or loved ones, we have just been inconvenienced, but it has fundamentally changed how your first memorable years will impact you. You didn’t have a closing of preschool to say goodbye to all your friends, you didn’t have a first day of school, you don’t get to make new friends in the school building, everything has changed, I can only hope it doesn’t change you.

I hope you keep your fearlessness

A lot of being four was spent at gymnastics. You showed such promise they accelerated you to the “big girl” team classes from your preschooler class. You were 8 inches shorter than your classmates but that didn’t stop you from strutting across the balance beam or climbing the rope. You knew you belonged there, even if your mama wasn’t so sure, you had enough bravery for both of us.

You spent more than a handful days of being four at Busch Gardens, your favorite place (besides preschool). You love the teacups, the water log, the whole atmosphere! But nothing would light up your face as much as when we approached the battering ram. Liberty, Canton, and I would watch you from the Flying Machines as we gently whirled around while you and dad flew high above. Your little body would come out of the seat as you flew back and forth, your laughs would carry yards away. People would give dad the strangest looks as he allowed such a little girl to sit in the back row! What a terrible father they must have thought! Little did they know you were the one dragging him there. You would delight at the thought of defying expectations of others! May you continue to laugh as you face your fears.

I hope you make friends where ever you go

Preschool was a big step for your this year! Liberty didn’t care for it much but it was your favorite place! You were friends with everyone, but especially Ellie. You greeted her and many others with a giant hug each morning. You had field trips, made art, sang, played on the playground, and learned how to be in the world without me next to you. I would miss your terribly but you had a blast! Dad would pick you up sometimes and bring you home during his lunch break. You would love to run in and see me “crying” and ask “Did you cry all day?” Then you would tell me all about things you made and did. Soon your calls of “I’ll miss being three” turned into “I love being four!” At night I would tuck you in and you would say so fast “Night, Love you, see you in the morning FOR PREEEEEEESCHHHHHOOOOOOOOL!” You could not wait to get back to your friends. When COVID hit you were devastated, all you wanted was to be with your friends. Zoom meetings were hard and sometimes we would skip them because you were too sad, you could see your friends but you couldn’t be with them, it must of been an unbearable thought. I’m so sorry that was cut short for you. Your teacher, Mrs Old, wrote following of you : “I will miss the way you would walk up to any friend who seemed sad or nervous and offer a hug.” May you take that empathy with you as you grow.

I hope you always know how to love and how loved you are

You often ask me big questions, even in your tiny voice. You ask about the physics of the world, afterlife, and why things are they way they are. One you say a lot is “Who is your favorite person in the entire world and universe? Give me hints!” I tell you things about yourself or things you did that day but remind you I have three favorite people and then you tell me things you love about your siblings. We are so lucky to have each other. Lockdown time has made that more apparent. You guys have each other to play with when we can’t see others. I love watching you all swing, play games like Avengers, cook, explore, and grow together. But sometimes being together constantly can lead to arguments. You have learned so well how your actions impact others. You are always the first to apologize or check on your siblings. If Canton upsets Liberty you will run after her to check on her. It hurts you to know you or others may have hurt someone else. You will immediately say “I accept your apology” or “Sorry Lou/Can, I apologize, we are sisters and best friends.” Such a grown up sentence for something that is very hard for grown-ups to do. You also use nice language when you play like “pause game” when you have a question and you guys try to work out a conflict. When Dad returned from Disney World after a week long conference you said “I missed you a little bit.” We laughed and laughed but then you knew it maybe wasn’t the nicest thing to say and you gave him a big Adleigh hug and told him how much you loved him. May you continue to know your impact on the world around you.

I hope you STAY WITH ME FOREVER

One of your favorite “games” to play at night it “Stay with ME forever!” You and I say it to each other super fast repeatedly, whoever said it the fastest “wins” and the other stays with them forever. We have a lot of nighttime rituals. You love the Grover book The Monster At The End of This Book. My throat gets raw doing the Grover voice over and over again but I would do it a million times to hear that hearty grunty laugh of yours. We’ve read it so many times you often read it to me. You also love “tickle me a bunch and a lot!” I love when you say “huddled close at night” and you wrap your arm around my neck and huddle close to me, it’s my favorite part of day. I know you won’t live with me forever, but you will stay with me forever. As you ask me “Is uppie your favorite thing I say?” I will lift you however I can. You are in all of our hearts, Adleigh. Your happiness is so great it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not. You have brightened our world and your light will always shine.

The world is insane right now. I hope this abnormal doesn’t become the new normal. I am reminded of the line in “Dear Theodosia”. “When you smile you knock me out, I fall apart, and I thought I was so smart.” The next section talks of how they are making a new nation. You are also coming of age in a changed nation. Your empathy and kindness are needed now more than ever. I hope that we have given you a strong enough foundation. I hope we make it right for you. There is so much love inside you and even though your hand continues to slip from mine, I’m so excited for you to share that love with the world.

I love you peanut!

Love,

Mom

Dear Liberty,

What a year you have had! We all have had a few interesting months with COVID-19. I asked you a week ago what you hoped for your birthday, and you said “I don’t know, but I know for Christmas I want this virus to be over!” You want so badly to be able to see everyone again, especially your “Rhondy”.

Turning seven will be leaving part of you behind, your baby teeth (only 1 so far!), your sqeaky little girl voice, you cradling into my arms to read a story, or doing “super cute face” with Adleigh to bake a special treat. With every confident stride you take more of your little girl self fades, it’s bittersweet, but I’m so excited to watch the big girl you are becoming. Even soon one day when you don’t want to hug me in public or roll your eyes at me, I am always in your corner and will catch you as you learn to leave the nest little owl.

You never cease to amaze me. While the whole world seems to be on fire around us you have found comfort in “quarantine”. You have thrived in “learning at home”. You were identified for visions (gifted) at the end of Kindergarten and performed well above grade level when school was in session. You are continuing to learn piano and sewing (you loved making your owl costume), you taught yourself string games, you are becoming a better reader, all while being a great playmate to Adleigh. It warms my heart every morning to pop into the kitchen to see you independently doing your work without being told and then running off to play mermaids with Adleigh. You even wanted to expand your learning and you picked up on three digit addition AND subtraction with regrouping, you love doing “grown-up math”! I’m so proud of you! May you always have a love of learning.

This year you broke out of your shell of dance only by joining musical theater. You performed in the holiday show and gained appreciation of song and dance. You share your brother’s love of “Hamilton”, I love watching you all dance and sing through the house all day long, and what a surprise it arrives a day before your birthday, like it was just for you! May you always have a song in your heart.

You are so determined! I think a lot of people look at you and see a good, quiet, tall and skinny girl, they underestimate your strength. You basically taught yourself to ride a bike, I wanted training wheels higher longer, you wanted them off, and you pushed yourself back and forth on the road until you got it. You wanted to be able to jump on the back of dad’s car, we kept giving you tips of starting areas or where to jump from, and you ignored us, confident in YOUR way, just as learning swimming, piano, or anything, no matter how many times you didn’t make it, you just kept going, and then you soared little one! Life is going to throw a lot of challenges your way. Maya AngeLOU said: “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decided not to be reduced by them.” May you choose your battles wisely and always carry your strength and determination.

You are the girl of a thousand faces. I love to take pictures of you! You are the only one I don’t have to tell how to place themselves, you are a diva in front of the camera (and in life sometimes!) and you have no problem telling everyone how you are feeling. Your independence drives me crazy sometimes, as your Kindergarten teacher always said “She’s everything you want your grown daughter to be”, while your stubbornness is sometimes in opposition of my planning I am often proud of you for standing your ground. I love you exactly as you are. As your favorite shirt says “I Just Really Like Owls, OK?!?!” May you always mean what you say and say what you mean.

You are the girl that took my breath away and melted my heart forever. I wanted a girl so badly and Mal sent me one. You fill me with such joy, an all consuming love. You are loved, cherished, and adored. Little owl girl, I cannot wait to see where you fly!

The only one for me is LOU and LOU for me, so happy together!

Happy 7th Birthday Sweet Lou!

Love,

Mom

Dear Canton,

Oh Sunshine, how is it possible you are 11? It was my job for years to hang out with a bunch of 11 year olds on a daily basis, I have gotten to know hundreds of preteens and I have to say, you my dear, are by far the most interesting, kind, well rounded one I’ve ever had the joy to know. I sit here writing this as you simultaneously belt out Hamilton lyrics and building in Minecraft, while entertaining your sisters. I’m amazed by you.

“I probably shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish…”

“Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now…”

Eleven?!?!?! I so distinctively remember every kick you made when we shared this old vessel of mine. Specifically, each night around 7:30pm, I don’t know if it was winding down from the workday or the sugar rush of an after dinner cookie but that is usually when I could feel the strength of your kicks, even then you were tap dancing through my soul.

“Boy, you got me helpless! Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit. I’m Helpless!”

Back then I dreamed of all I wanted for your future, but it is still hard to wrap my head around the fact my first born, my baby boy, is marching toward adulthood. You’ve lived with me for more time than you will continue living with me. It is a joy to watch you grow but my heart aches each year. I want you to stay small, to continue to hug your mama and dote on your sisters, but you are moving swiftly away from us and toward your limitless future.

“There’s a million things I haven’t done, just you wait…”

It seems like your life is moving at warp speed. I hope you remember to take your time. You have been advanced at so many things: you walked early, talked early, had a boundless vocabulary, perfected the report card game, you take accelerated courses in school {super proud by the way 🙂 }but it’s ok to slow down sometimes. You are always trying to complete the next challenge, finish the latest book, complete your puzzles, perfect your lines; remember to enjoy the journey.

“He will never be satisfied”

Life has seemed a little unfair as of late. The COVID-19 virus has upended the world. You abruptly had school ended, no play, no music, no piano, no acting, no Stagelights. But, instead of wallowing you noticed a lot of the injustice in society, how others had it so much harder and how we needed to donate and provide what we could to help others. May you always carry that sense of justice and empathy.

“I’ve seen injustice in the world and I’ve corrected it…”

Life is actually unfair a lot. That’s a hard lesson to learn and it is harder to understand. But I have seen you have persistence as you try to master a dance step, an equation, or getting a line just right in Cheaper by the Dozen (Williamsburg Players) or as Robin, the lead in your school play “At the Bandstand”. So many things come easy to you, but some things don’t, some things won’t, continue to work, persist, and share your gifts.

“Got a lot farther by working a lot harder, by being a lot smarter, by being a self-starter…”

I remember the toddler with the limitless collection of Thomas engines, the boy obsessed with space correcting adults at the planetarium, and I’ve watched the young man learn to take on different characters in your acting classes and plays. I’m so proud of that kind, old soul of yours, your zest for life, the way you protect you sisters, your curiosity, your passion, your love of family. Continue to follow your passion, may it guide your life.

“The Man is Non-Stop”

Although your fifth grade year was abruptly ended in March I feel incredibly luckily to have extra time with you. Your routine is different but you have grown in reading and writing perhaps more than you would have in school. You have spent more time with your sisters, you draw, create, and read with them. You have noticed more of the little things, the inferences needed to deconstruct stories, words flow more easily than they once did. You have always grasped facts incredibly quickly, but you are beginning to appreciate the beauty and art behind all the science and facts.

“Get your education, don’t forget from whence you came and the world’s gonna know your name…”

You are heading to middle school this year (maybe, hopefully right?!). You won’t need me as much. Gone are the days of you holding my hand to cross the street, but you will always hold my heart in your hand. If I’ve learned anything from years in the trenches as a middle grade teacher, it is that you need role models and love more than you know. You won’t come to me for hugs and comfort as much, but I’m here always. I know the teenage fights are coming, but I will love your more each day, and that love is unconditional.

“And when push comes to shove, I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love…”

You are admired, cherished, treasured, loved.

I know you aren’t throwing away your shot! 🙂

Love you sunshine!

Love,

Mom

Canton signing in the choir and playing clarinet. He’s been practicing a lot and has improved a great deal. I didn’t know what to expect from the whole band, but I was pretty impressed!